It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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