know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
