She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
