And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
