It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
