I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
