You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
