Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
