ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
