If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
