Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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