I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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