Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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