Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
