evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
