Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
