My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
