By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
