Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My balls are so social today.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
