FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
