marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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