he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
