I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
