So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
