Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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