I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
