I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i came on her dog
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
