Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
