You work out of a Hotel?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can't turn off my feet"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
