and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
