I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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