I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
