i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
