do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
