I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
