Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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