i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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