I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
