If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
