in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
