You're so nebulous sometimes
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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