and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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