Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
