dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
