worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
