Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
