So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
