in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
