these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
