Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
