How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
