I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
