i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
