I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
