I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
